The Whisper That Tried to Bury Me

There’s a voice that’s been with me for as long as I can remember. It’s the whisper that shows up when I’ve got an idea, right before I open my mouth: “Who do you think you are? No one wants to hear that.”

I just recently discovered that there’s actually a name for this: imposter syndrome. And when I looked back, I realized this imposter hadn’t been a friend of mine for a very long time. It wasn’t protecting me. It was keeping me small.

And here’s the funny part — apparently this “syndrome” has been around forever, but I had no idea it was living rent-free in my head all this time. Like, thanks for the heads up, universe. Obviously, I’m still in the middle of this whole self-discovery process, but it’s wild to realize something has been shaping you for years before you even had the language for it. Oh, and I just decided to name mine and apparently it’s a male, Hello David (now I am officially nuts)!

It’s the voice that questioned whether my work ethic was ever enough. The one that laughed at me when I landed certain roles or titles, saying, “You don’t deserve to be here. They’re going to see right through you.”

That voice was my imposter. And for years, I believed it.

The Weight of Doubt

I let that voice push my self-worth into the basement and lock the door. Actually, scratch that — it shoved me into a wrestling ring with myself and sat back eating popcorn while I threw punches I didn’t even need to throw and YES many of those landed, punch to the gut!

Every time I came up with a new idea, I doubted whether it was good enough. Every time I poured myself into work, I questioned if people would notice or even care.

It didn’t help that others sometimes confirmed my worst fears — telling me I wasn’t ready, I wasn’t experienced enough, or I should wait my turn. I took their words as truth, stacking them on top of my own doubts until I was buried under the weight.

And when you’re buried that deep, you start looking around for someone else to pull you out. But here’s what I’ve learned the hard way: I can’t rely on others to be there to support me — even the closest ones I thought would always have my back.

I’ve had to become the one, the only one, who can push me to my ultimate limits. The one person that’s always going to hug me when I need it, or give me the high five when I need it, is sometimes just… me. And I’m starting to learn that that’s okay.

When Ego Becomes the Real Imposter

Looking back, I realize something: I let my ego become the real imposter. Not the kind of ego that struts around like it owns the room, but the kind that sits in the corner with its arms crossed, whispering, “Don’t you dare embarrass us.”

That ego was like a terrible GPS system — constantly rerouting me away from opportunities I was perfectly capable of handling. It silenced me in rooms where I had ideas worth sharing. It convinced me to hold back when I should’ve been bold. It kept me afraid of what others would think instead of trusting what I already knew deep down.

Learning to Own My Value

But here’s where things are shifting. I finally learned how to stop giving a shit so much about what other people think.

I’m done apologizing for the space I take up. I’m done downplaying my ideas, my grit, my ability to get things done.

And along the way, I’ve realized something even bigger: the deepest support I’ve been craving has to come from me first. No one else can give me the constant validation I once looked for. That’s my job now.

I’ve started to see that voice differently. Instead of letting it wreck me, I ask: “What are you trying to protect me from?” Because that’s all it really is — fear trying to keep me safe.

And fear, when you face it head-on, can actually sharpen you. Kind of like hot sauce — a little uncomfortable at first, but it wakes you up and makes the whole dish better.

Making the Imposter My Ally

The imposter isn’t gone. I don’t think it ever fully disappears. But I’ve stopped giving it the driver’s seat. Now, when it shows up, I use it.

That doubt reminds me to prepare, to check myself, to stay grounded. It keeps me humble, but it doesn’t keep me hidden.

I’ve learned to turn that voice into a supporter rather than a saboteur. It’s not here to bury my confidence anymore — it’s here to remind me how much I’ve grown, “Thank you, David!”

What I’m Learning Along the Way

One book I’m reading right now that’s helping me reframe this voice is Get Out of Your Own Way by Dave Hollis. In it, he points out how “thoughts like ‘I’m not enough’ play on repeat” Lewis Howes Podcast. That hit me hard, because that’s exactly what my imposter has been whispering for years.

He also writes, “Limiting beliefs are things we mistakenly hold as truths about ourselves… We think these are laws… But this is simply not the case.”

Reading his words reminds me I’ve been carrying around rules that were never real in the first place.

Three Real-Talk Tips to Deal with the Imposter

• Here are three things I’ve started doing — short, simple, and maybe helpful if your imposter’s been running the show:
  
  - Name the liar. Call out the imposter voice by saying, “Oh hey, that’s just old doubt talking.” It’s like telling a toddler to sit down before they smear peanut butter on the walls. 
  
  - Gather your receipts. Keep a running list of your wins, your feedback, times you showed up. When the voice says “you don’t deserve it,” you’ve got receipts to prove otherwise. Nothing shuts down an inner critic like cold, hard evidence. 
  
  - Talk it out (loud). Share your feelings with one trusted person (or even yourself out loud). Studies show that social support helps reduce impostor feelings (I read this on Science Direct but can’t find the article now). Sometimes you just need to hear how ridiculous the voice sounds when you say it out loud.

Speaking Anyway

So this is me, speaking anyway.  Speaking about personal development and personal growth, about the dicey  middle of self-worth, about how I’ve been learning how  to crawl out from under the weight of other people’s opinions and my own inner critic.

I’m not the imposter in my own life anymore. I’m the author.

And if you’ve been living with that same whisper, I want you to hear this: You’re not a phony. You’re not a poser. You are more capable, more resilient, and more worthy than that voice ever let you believe.

So if you’re looking for validation, don’t expect it.