The Truth Behind a 10-Year Mentorship Built on Lies

The Truth Behind a 10-Year Mentorship Built on Lies
I wrote about the Founder/CEO, my old mentor in my last post.

For those who didn’t read it she is now in prison for 15yrs (well a few less now).

I wrote about the love and loyalty of our 10yr relationship and how it ended with lies and betrayal.

People would say “she gave you so much opportunity and experience” - but it came at a cost I didn’t see coming.

The opportunities she provided me were disguised by lies.

What people don’t know is the control she had over me, she molded me into a person who relied on her for mostly everything.

I think I was too weak and afraid to leave her and she instilled that in me.

Gaslighting, Control, and the First Major Red Flag
She would build me up to a point that I felt like I was on top of the world.

Then once I felt like I was at the top, then WHAM, it was like she hit me on the top of head and everything fell out of the bottom of my feet.
Like opening a new ketchup bottle! Ya know what I mean?
Needless to say It would put me back down and into a small place.

Story - I remember the first time she “ketchup bottled” me.
So, I had a restaurant concept when I was introduced to her.
It was just an idea at that point. She needed a concept and I needed a mentor.

It felt like a great exchange.
The agreement was she would make me a “sweat equity partner” for me, giving her the concept. Then later down the line she hired me on full time as an employee, the 2nd employee to her soon to be false empire.

We further evolved the restaurant concept together with a small team.
From hiring design teams, architects, contractors, chefs, staff, PR, etc.

I would attend local community meetings to build up the momentum of the anticipated opening.

I worked my ass off b/c it was a dream that I would do anything to bring to life.

The day of the (YES THE DAY OF) grand opening she calls me to say:
Mentor “ Hi Honey we need to talk. Why do you keep telling people that you are a partner in this project?”

Me (taken back by the question) “What do you mean, of course I am telling people that. That was our agreement.”

Mentor “ Honey, no you can’t be a partner. Frankly, you did not raise any capital or contributed to the finances”

Me “It was my original concept. You told me I would become a sweat equity partner if I gave you the concept and that we would grow it together”.

Mentor “Babygirl that was never the case, I can’t just give equity away”
KICKER: Mentor “ You should learn from my mistakes, not my success.”

Can someone please explain to me in this situation what the actual fuck that means?

I mean I know what it means in another context but in this one, I couldn’t put it into words.

She then just blanketed the conversation and made it about the grand opening and what “we achieved blah blah blah.”

I hung up the phone devastated! I couldn’t even catch my breath.

I worked so hard on this concept over the years before handing it over.
I know what I heard and she blatantly lied to me.

I handed it over b/c I trusted her and I needed her at that time in my life.
A mentor, guidance!

I was shattered but I had to put my “game face” on b/c we had the grand opening to attend to.

Filled with bullshit smiles and empty hugs!

I Should’ve Walked Away Then—But I Didn’t
The first time she pulled that shit, I should’ve been out.

But instead, I told myself, “Now you see how she operates—just learn from it. The experience will be worth it and priceless.”
And that word—priceless—feels like a damn joke now, considering the thief she turned out to be.
Not just in our relationship, but financially too—running a whole damn Ponzi scheme while I stood beside her always praising her and putting her on the ever so high pedestal, her throne. Ok, I am on a tangent!
The Narcissistic Cycle of Manipulation and Power
Over the years, I helped her build, along with some really incredible talented people, an empire of 400 employees.
AND during that time I allowed her to
Build me up and smack me down over and over again
Undermine me in front of staff and then praise me in front of staff (the ups and downs)
Talk down to me by saying things like "nobody even knows who you are" but tell me how much she loves me
Lied to me over and over again - she had that wandering eye when she lied. The one always looked left.
Take money from me (part of the scam)
Cut me out of deals
Countless empty promises

But HEYYYY that all came with those endless awesome opportunities!

So, yes, it was like working with the devil.

When It All Fell Apart
Then the ball dropped like I mentioned in the other blog.

When she told me she was fucked and is going to prison (in other words).

When her whole world started to crumble and mine alongside it, I still defended her (briefly) even though I knew the type of person she was.

I wanted to protect her still, I didn’t want to believe she was really this type of monster.

But she was! You know what, she never even told me she was sorry! Not one apology!

After telling me all those years “how much she loved me, really really loved me.” You would think a person would at least apologize!
I mean come on!!
However, she was no longer a person inside and I had to remember that.

Disclaimer* Let me be clear, I did not know about the scam!
My husband and I lost 6 figures of hard earned money in that scam!

Why I’m Back in Therapy
Well there you have it, the reason I need therapy.

Dealing with a narcissist that has a sociopathic mindset is no laughing matter.

The emotional abuse and the constant mind games she would play was like riding a nauseating roller coaster.

You know the ones with all the loops, turns, twists, then stopping immediately and going in reverse completely catching you off guard and taking your breath away- yup that one!

Allowing my self-worth to be so little to let someone do this to me over time warrants some help.

It has taken me years to write this, but I told myself and anyone who reads these blogs, that I will be open and real.

Reclaiming My Self-Worth
I recently recognized that I have not healed from this.
That it’s been eating away at me and keeping me stuck for years.
Keeping me from growth and being the best version of myself.

So bring on therapy! I am ready to go through this journey of healing.
Anything will feel better than feeling like the person who has been missing.

Hell, I already feel better because I get to share my story with you all.
Call to Action
I asked a question earlier in my blog.
When my mentor said “learn from my mistakes not my successes.”
I asked what the hell did that mean in this context.
I would love to hear what you think.
Please comment below
This is me and this is my truth!
Traci